What is ‘state’ and why does it matter?
If you know me at all, you know I can be a bit of a grump. I consider myself to be ‘depressed’ and I feel like this state of mind keeps me stuck in it.
You could say that I’m in a depressed state quite a bit.
Well, what if I could change my state? And what would that look like?
What effect would changing my ‘state’ really have?
I was watching this Tony Robbins video and he was saying that over his 40-year career as a self-help guru, he has really own taught one thing, and that’s how to change your state.
When you feel a certain way (depressed), you’re going to act how you feel!
If you can alter your state to feeling bold or courageous, then the actions you take will be in alignment with that!
It’s a bit like ‘faking it til you make it’.
What would happen if you just ‘acted’ like you were a cool, confident person who was super comfortable talking to people, being friendly and making friends (assuming you’re someone with social anxiety).
Do you think this would impact the way you behaved?
Well, I did a little experiment.
On my run today, I started to ‘fake’ being the type of person who was self-assured and friendly.
When I passed by a couple walking toward me, instead of feeling self-conscious (for whatever reason), I would try to pretend I was confident, secure, and unintimidated by other humans (lol).
I was basically affecting my state.
Now, this isn’t a magic bullet per se.
It will probably take some getting used to.
I know for me, the effects of this were subtle. I didn’t feel 100% confident or anything but it helped enough to shift my focus away from what I might normally feel (insecure, nervous) and gave me a different target to shoot for.
It’s my hypothesis that over time, as I practice intentionally shifting my state to a more positive frame, this will become easier and more natural for me.
One more thing I’ll say about changing our states is that it can be easy to believe that we all have ‘one true self’ but if you think about it, we’re different versions of ourself in different situations.
You’re one way with your parents and another way with your friends; you’re one way when you’re alone and another when you’re with your spouse or partner.
The point is, it can be easy to forget that our personalities are adaptable and flexible. But if you’re anything like me, you love the idea that there is one true real version of who you are. And when you think about ‘changing your state’ you might start to question whether or not it’s ‘authentic’ to go around altering your state.
And I guess I don’t really have a good answer for that.
When I think about it, I do believe that the ‘version’ of yourself that you’re tapping into is your true self, just one aspect of it.
Your personality has many facets. You may not exhibit them all at any given time but that confident version of yourself? It does exist and it’s true for you. That bold version of yourself? That’s also a part of you.
I guess the real question is, what parts of yourself are you favoring? Which parts of you are you allowing to be seen and which parts are you holding back?
I would say, if you feel stuck in your ways and want to make a change then it’s time to choose your better angels (angles?) and start tapping into the parts of your personality that align with your joy and happiness.
Tap into these authentic (if under-expressed) parts of your being to start creating new, positive experiences in your life.
These parts of you are already there, you just gotta get into state!
Featured image by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash
