For a long time, I have internalized the idea that to be in my masculine is bad. This drained me of so much power.
Where did I pick up this belief?
It could be that it came as a response to my sexual irresponsibility.
When I was younger and fully powered by my sexual desire, I didn’t have the awareness or level of compassion to assert my sexual energy responsibility.
I “took” too much. I was greedy with my lust and I acted blindly, in most cases, just trying to “score”.
I don’t think I ever connected my lust to my heart; I rarely let my heart become part of the equation.
I don’t think it’s too uncommon for teenage boys to be sex-obsessed, pursuing sex and sexuality activity as a top priority but I think I feel guilty about it and so I’ve shut down my masculine energy and this is not good.
Through dancing, however, I’ve started to feel the sparks of that energy within me. I believe that is through connecting to the body that we remember how to feel. We connect to our deepest, truest nature.
It’s only the mind that works to keep us out, to replay thought patterns and engage in old emotions. Therefore, developing deep roots and connection to the body is key to reconnecting to our nature.