How to let go of resistance

I wanted to talk about a new realization – or discovery – that was shown to me the other week. It’s a powerful tool for those seeking change and transformation in their lives.

Most of the time, we operate out of our subconscious conditioning. It’s easier to exist on “auto-pilot” than to consciously navigate through our lives. Unfortunately, we give away a ton of choice and autonomy when we live like this.

We also deny ourselves the ability to grow and transform the things in our lives that we would wish to change.

It takes conscious awareness to notice when we are operating from an old pattern but how do we change or disrupt these patterns?

Most often, our tendency as humans in the 21st century is to resist what we don’t want to feel or think about. We’ll feel a sense of frustration, anger, or unease towards the feeling or thought that we are experiencing.

The more we wish the sensation or idea wasn’t there, the more energy we end up giving to it and in doing so, energize it more.

This only serves to keep the negative energy stuck. And when we stay stuck, there is very little possibility for change or, at in the best-case scenario, making change seems like a herculean task.

What’s required to allow this unpleasant energy to pass through us is to learn how to let it be there without wanting or needing it to be any different. We need to learn how to become a “bystander” of our thoughts and emotions and notice them like we were watching a parade (or insert metaphor here).

When we can remove ourselves from the active resistance (us wishing the energy wasn’t there) and “step back” from it and simply observe the sensation, something amazing starts to happen…

We no longer feel the discomfort of the energy but we are no longer giving it our energy and, as you’ll notice when you do this, the thought or emotion loses its power and dissipates.

And just like that, we have diffused the negative emotional or mental pattern.

Now this doesn’t mean it won’t come up again. It might come right back, especially if it’s a long-standing pattern or a mental or emotional pattern that you are quite used to having.

It might require that you practice “observing” the thought energy 100 times but, as you begin to get better at noticing the pattern AND stepping out of it, eventually the pattern will start to weaken – and your power of observation and awareness will strengthen.

To recap the process, take a moment wherever you are to pay attention to what’s happening inside of you. Notice where you feel tension in your body. Notice what you feel. What are you thinking? Be aware of what’s going on inside of you. Notice your response to what’s happening inside of you. The thoughts, the tension you feel, are you creating internal resistance to it?

Pay attention to the resistance but don’t push against it. Don’t resist the resistance. Be open to it. Allow it to be there. Watch it. Become the container for the resistance. Hold this space and watch how the energy shifts in you.

You can do this practice anywhere. Whether in a peaceful park or on a busy streetcar, take a moment to notice if there’s resistance in you. Practice holding space for the resistance often and see how you start to create space for new energy to emerge.

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